Many people find it helpful to prepare for significant days or anniversaries in advance. Days like birthdays, Mother’s and Father’s Day, graduations and weddings are likely to be challenging, if your child is on or even off cancer treatment.

At times, these significant days can bring an expectation. Feelings and emotion can be intensified. Acknowledging that these special occasions and events will be difficult and having a plan on how to spend them can help.

Focus on the present moment

Being with one another and spending time together may be an easier option than running around cooking or buying gifts or hosting parties. Doing less could be best for the whole family; playing games, watching movies or doing activities that aren’t zapping anyone’s energy.

Ask for support from your extended family and community

It can be hard and sometimes uncomfortable to ask for help, often feeling like a burden. In many instances, people may offer a hand to help out. Let other people know how they can help support you on special occasions. It can be anything from taking on the cooking, cleaning or even assisting with gift buying. You may also want someone to talk to, about how you’re feeling about a particular holiday or occasion. It’s good to be able to express your emotions in a healthy way.

Creating new traditions

If your usual holiday traditions don’t feel right and are creating a lot of different and sometimes unexplained emotions, you could think about creating new traditions or changing them, or even putting them on hold until it feels okay to continue them. Talking about new and old traditions with your family could provide the support you need through a shared understanding of sadness and with your family’s input, everyone can be involved, and it might not feel like too many big changes are happening.

Managing expectations of other people

Following your own needs for what’s best for you, your child, and family can help ease the pressure of meeting others’ expectations. If you’re asked to participate in a wedding or to organise a birthday party, it might be a good moment to assess your energy levels, focus on the present, and consider what you truly have the capacity to handle.

Getting enough sleep

Parents and carers often share the struggle of getting enough sleep while caring for a child receiving cancer treatment or adjusting to post treatment. Circling thoughts like worry, fear, and sadness can be relentless and keep you up at night. Keeping a journal by your bedside can be a comforting tool. Scribbling down those heavy thoughts can help release some of that burden, hopefully providing some relief. Plus, it will help you remember any concerns that may need attention or solutions the next day.