Before Josh’s son, Nate, was diagnosed with B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukaemia at four years old, Josh’s young family of five were busy leading a fun, active outdoor lifestyle in their Queensland community.

“Pre-diagnosis, we were just a normal young family going about their business,” Josh said. 

“[Nate] would often be in the garden with his mum, doing some of mum’s passions in the garden and with plants, so he was always in there.”  

Josh, a health and physical education teacher and head of sport, and his wife Rachel, an environmental scientist, were shocked to learn of Nate’s diagnosis after chasing answers for three weeks. 

“[The doctors] were alluding to it, that it was leukaemia, but I really didn’t believe it until they actually sat down and said, ‘this is what it is’.” 

What came next was all a blur for Josh, who stayed in the hospital with Nate while Rachel and their other two sons stayed home with the flu. He signed medical forms and then Nate was whisked away for tests and scans and initial operations, before starting chemotherapy three days after diagnosis.  

Both Josh and Rachel had to stop work while Nate received treatment, sharing the load of going to the hospital where they could. But for the first month, it was mostly Josh in hospital.  

He struggled with the isolation that Nate’s cancer brought with it, mentally and emotionally exhausted from being alone with Nate on the ward. 

“I think I saw Rach once, and that was the day that the doctor said this is exactly what it is. Apart from that, I didn’t see her and my other boys for three weeks. So, it was really tough because I was by myself, particularly as it was over Christmas and New Year’s.” 

Dealing with the emotional effects of childhood cancer changed Josh’s perspective on being a father. Even before diagnosis, Josh was always open and honest with his emotions with his loved ones and he kept that open communication throughout the family’s cancer journey.  

“Initially, I probably just talked to close family really. I was pretty raw. I told my boss, but I didn’t really contact anyone else apart from really close mates.”  

“I felt like as the journey progressed, I became more open and honest to anyone that wanted to hear or tried to be. In the same light, I didn’t want to burden anyone else either. So, if I felt like people probably won’t want to hear it, I didn’t tell them everything, unless they asked, which I found rare.” 

He felt like he was missing out on career-related goals while he was unable to work. 

“I had a few things at work planned that had been years in the making and they were rolling out that year. And I felt like, oh, I’d love to be there. But then quickly, it shifted.” 

“So I’ve got a real perspective of going, I am replaceable. We are all replaceable.”

His priority shifted to putting family first, even more than he already was prior to Nate’s diagnosis, and that meant letting go of feeling he needed to be excellent. 

“It was an adjustment period. Once work went back, I struggled with the balance of doing my job well and taking pride in my work. The menial tasks of work seemed so insignificant to the journey my family was facing at that time.   As much as I enjoyed my job, my family is more important.” 

Josh found Redkite’s Dad Connect Group really valuable during Nate’s treatment.  

“The Dad Connect for me was good as far as connection with other dads. And then to get that professional counselling, that was probably my first experience with something like that, in a group setting at least.” 

Having common ground with other dads helped Josh “free up mental space”, so he could focus on Nate and his family. 

“To know that there were other people going through that journey and feeling similar. It was just a common ground that wasn’t there if I wasn’t joining in on those calls.” 

Josh’s biggest takeaway from his family’s journey with childhood cancer is to make sure you surround yourself with good people, talk openly and accept help when it’s given.